Most parents are struggling to manage full-time jobs and their children’s virtual learning, but for those who can’t work from home, the challenges are amplified. Those who work in the restaurant industry are not only pivoting to keep their businesses in operation, but their families on track as well. We spoke with three business owners with kids to hear in their own words how they’re handling the disruption of the Covid-19 pandemic. (Edited for clarity and space).

Ashley Boyd, owner of 300 East
Mom to a 10-year old and 13-year-old

“Things were a lot rougher at the beginning when the schools got shut down and we got shut down at the same time, I was having to work constantly and try to juggle what we’re doing with the kids. It’s a little better now. My husband Dayne and I have shifted our schedules — he shifted earlier, I shifted later, so someone is always home. We’re really lucky to be able to do that. And things have gotten into somewhat of a consistent pattern finally here at the restaurant, so I can plan my time a little bit better, which makes it a lot easier for me to plan my participation in the kids’ school and know what I’m responsible for, what he’s responsible for.

We never see each other because we’re focused on making sure that the kids are getting what they need and doing what they need to be doing. We just are like ships passing in the night right now, and it’s going to be like that for the foreseeable future. It’s what we’ve gotta do. He gets up at 3 in the morning and he clocks in by 4 a.m. And then he comes home at 11 a.m. and we have a little bit to pow-wow and hand things over. Then I go to work and I close the restaurant. He’s asleep at 8:30 p.m.

It’s hard for everybody right now. So that helps me keep a level head. Other than that, I’m just trying make sure I eat, make sure I drink water. Exercising has been huge in keeping my mood stable and feeling just stronger. And it’s something I didn’t really do before, but now I am because it’s so important to the way I feel mentally and physically. I’m trying to go easy on myself and trying to go easy on everybody around me, because we’re all going through this in our own way, we’re all experiencing some kind of stress or loss or trauma or anxiety. It’s rough on everybody. Trying to always keep that in mind kind of helps a little bit.

At the restaurant, we’re trying to meet everybody where they’re at. Everybody’s situation is different. And so we’re just sort of patching things together, because that’s what you’ve gotta do right now. It’s not like you can just go get a sitter either. Before, some of our folks with kids, when they could work was dependent on when they could get childcare. Well, there really isn’t child care right now like there was before. I’m just trying to work with everybody’s individual needs to make the schedule every week.”

Stefan Huebner, owner of Dot Dot Dot
Dad to a 12-year-old

“Monday through Friday, we get up at about 8:30 a.m. and she has 8:55 a.m. bell. I give her some food, get a cup of coffee going — and yes, my twelve year old drinks coffee — and about 8:50 a.m., we get her logged in. I always have her log in early because it seems like the people who are logging in at 8:55 a.m. are the ones who were kicked out because so many people were trying to get on at once. She does homeroom and her first two classes, and at 11:05 a.m. she breaks for lunch and we hop in the car. We hit Chef’s Store and get to the bar by 12:05 p.m. when her class starts, and she does her afternoon work from the bar. She sits in one of the big booths, props up, and I get the stuff I need to get done working at the bar — paperwork, prep, you know, just day-to-day cleaning, all the stuff that needs to get done to operate a restaurant and a bar — while she’s doing her work. And I’ll just get like a, “Daddy, I need help!” and I go over there and help her out. 12 is a pretty good age because she likes to try to be self-sufficient.

We don’t usually eat at lunch. She’s usually eating in her fourth period class while she’s on a Zoom. I cook something for her at the restaurant, or she’s nibbling on charcuterie. She gets to live that life at the bar along with me. She loves that, ’cause she gets to be with me. It’s just different. I don’t have the normal of the other moms or dads who have to pack up at and then go work a shift at night. I have her all during the week, she stays with her mom or her friend on Fridays or Saturday nights when I’m working.

There are probably a lot of single moms out there who are working lunch shifts places. Who is watching their kid, and how are they doing it? Their struggle is exponentially more than the person who works at Bank of America. Yeah, it sucks, but at least they’re in the same house with them able to answer the questions. For me, I just had to get creative and be like, ‘Hey, during your lunch break, that’s when we’re going to switch venues.’ Because there’s no way I could be at home with her until 4:15 p.m. and then get the bar open. So we have to do that. And then the last thing I want to do is get to the bar at 8:55 a.m. and then be there all day. We’re making the best out of the situation we possibly can.

It’s humbling, especially as someone coming from the ownership side — my daughter, her elective this year is business and entrepreneurship. I’m like ‘Great, you just told your teacher your daddy’s an entrepreneur, she’s going to expect a lot out of you now.’ I’m sitting here, telling her every day she needs to go get a job at the bank where it’s safe and there’s less drama than having your whole industry shut down.”

Casey Hickey, owner of 20 Degrees Chocolate
Mom to an 11-year-old and 13-year-old

“We didn’t have any childcare and we have not for the duration, outside of me. We didn’t even really discuss it other than when we knew I needed to close the boutique in South End and that just made sense because all the surrounding restaurants were closed and it was so new. I don’t recall an explicit conversation, it just was like ‘Alright, I’m here.’ I might’ve just said I really think I need to be here. I can go in at off hours and manage some production to keep the chocolate at Petit Philippe.

The summer’s typically mellower for us anyway, professionally. And so we were able to get through the summer. And [my husband and owner of Petit Philippe] Mark has just consistently worked longer hours than normal because for a while he was shorter staffed, but he’s now fully staffed again.

I’m still managing the boys at home, but not all day every day. And we are very fortunate that we live three blocks from Petit Philippe, which is also in the next building over from my chocolate kitchen. I can go in, jump in whenever two hands are better than one and have daily check-ins with my chocolatier to talk about what the production plans are, do tastings of products that we’re testing for our fall collection. I really do a fair amount of back and forth. That will not be a sustainable situation once we get the web commerce up and we reopen the Design Center location. There will be a lot more to manage and there will be a lot more to produce once the weather cools down. Part of it is chocolate is just a slow seller in the warmer months.

As a mom, the inclination is typically to look out for others. And while intellectually we all know “put the oxygen mask on yourself first,” it’s a lot harder to do that in practice. And sometimes you don’t even realize that you’re not doing it. I’ve made a very conscious effort to be gentler with my kids and not get exasperated because the three of us have been in that house together since March 15. It’s a lot of togetherness with two same-gender siblings who are a teen and tween. One minute they’re best friends, the next minute they’re killing each other. It’s been hard for me to be around that so extensively and to find ways to help them navigate that where they’re kinder to each other and where I’m kinder to them in my responses.

I don’t think I don’t know a single person whether they stay at home or work outside of the home or some kind of hybrid that doesn’t feel like they’re failing at one component or another — maybe not failing, but certainly not achieving what they’d like to achieve with how they mother or how they do their work. I think that’s a pretty constant state of being for moms, and a lot of parents in general, though our culture still puts most of that pressure on the mom.

I do feel like because I’m not change averse, I’ve been able to weather it. And I’ve also had circumstances different from my my friends in the true restaurant world where I can do some of my work remotely, I can go in at off-hours because my product isn’t getting plated and served in five minutes. And so the blessing of the particular way that I exist within the food world gives me a level of flexibility that I know my restaurant peers don’t have. And I hate that for them. I don’t know what I would do if I were in a full service restaurant environment.”

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